PART F: PSYCHOLOGICAL PATTERNS (25 Questions)
Section 1: Self-Worth and Identity (5 Questions)
26. I feel like I have to earn love and acceptance through my performance or achievements.
Example: Working overtime constantly to prove your worth, feeling anxious when you’re not being “productive”
27. I believe that if people really knew me, they would reject or abandon me.
Example: Hiding parts of your personality, not sharing struggles with friends, feeling like you’re “too much”
28. I find it difficult to accept compliments or believe positive things about myself.
Example: Dismissing praise as “just being nice,” focusing on flaws when looking in mirror
29. I feel responsible for other people’s emotions and try to fix their problems.
Example: Feeling guilty when others are upset, constantly trying to make everyone happy
30. I struggle with imposter syndrome and fear being “found out” as inadequate.
Example: Attributing success to luck, fearing colleagues will discover you don’t belong
Section 2: Trust and Relationships (5 Questions)
31. I have difficulty trusting people and expect to be disappointed or betrayed.
Example: Assuming friends will cancel plans, not sharing personal information, testing people’s loyalty
32. I either become overly dependent in relationships or remain completely independent.
Example: Losing yourself in romantic relationships, or never letting anyone get close
33. I attract or stay in relationships where I’m taken for granted or mistreated.
Example: Friends who only call when they need something, partners who don’t respect boundaries
34. I have difficulty saying no and setting healthy boundaries.
Example: Agreeing to requests when overwhelmed, feeling guilty for having personal needs
35. I fear abandonment and will do almost anything to avoid being left alone.
Example: Staying in unhealthy relationships, compromising values to keep people happy
Section 3: Control and Safety (5 Questions)
36. I need to control situations and people to feel safe and secure.
Example: Micromanaging family members, anxiety when plans change unexpectedly
37. I avoid taking risks or trying new things because I fear failure or judgment.
Example: Not applying for promotions, avoiding social events, staying in comfort zone
38. I have difficulty relaxing and always feel like I need to be “on guard.”
Example: Trouble sleeping, scanning for danger, difficulty enjoying peaceful moments
39. I catastrophize situations and assume the worst possible outcome.
Example: Imagining disasters when someone is late, expecting rejection before job interviews
40. I feel like I must be perfect to be acceptable to others.
Example: Spending hours on emails, fear of making mistakes, harsh self-criticism
Section 4: Emotions and Expression (5 Questions)
41. I suppress or deny my emotions because they feel dangerous or unacceptable.
Example: Never crying, immediately trying to “fix” sad feelings, fear of anger
42. I feel overwhelmed by emotions and struggle to regulate them.
Example: Crying uncontrollably, explosive anger, feeling emotions very intensely
43. I use substances, work, or other behaviors to numb painful feelings.
Example: Drinking when stressed, workaholism, compulsive shopping, endless scrolling
44. I feel guilty or selfish when I prioritize my own needs and desires.
Example: Difficulty taking time for hobbies, feeling bad about spending money on yourself
45. I struggle with expressing anger in healthy ways.
Example: Explosive outbursts, passive-aggressive behavior, or complete suppression of anger
Section 5: Family & Cultural (5 Questions)
46. I carry heavy expectations about family loyalty that prevent me from setting boundaries.
Example: Unable to say no to family demands, guilt about living differently than family traditions
47. I feel torn between my individual desires and what my family/community expects.
Example: Career choices based on family approval, hiding relationship choices, cultural shame
48. I struggle with internalized messages about my racial, cultural, or economic identity.
Example: Feeling “not enough” or “too much” based on cultural background, economic shame
49. I have difficulty expressing needs because “asking for help” was seen as weakness in my family.
Example: Suffering in silence, pride preventing vulnerability, “strong person” identity
50. I repeat unhealthy patterns I witnessed in my family, despite wanting to be different.
Example: Communication styles, conflict patterns, parenting approaches, relationship dynamics
PART G: PHYSICAL PATTERNS (10 Questions)
Body and Trauma Responses
51. I experience unexplained physical symptoms (headaches, stomach issues, tension) during stress.
Example: Migraines before family visits, digestive issues during conflict
52. I have difficulty feeling safe and comfortable in my own body.
Example: Feeling disconnected from physical sensations, discomfort with touch
53. I startle easily or feel hypervigilant in certain environments.
Example: Jumping at unexpected sounds, constantly scanning rooms for exits
54. I hold tension in specific parts of my body (shoulders, jaw, stomach).
Example: Chronic neck pain, grinding teeth, tight chest when anxious
55. I have sleep disturbances or nightmares related to past experiences.
Example: Difficulty falling asleep, recurring dreams, night sweats
56. I struggle with eating patterns related to emotions or control.
Example: Stress eating, restricting food when upset, using food as comfort
57. I feel disconnected from or uncomfortable with my sexuality/sensuality.
Example: Difficulty with intimacy, shame about body, disconnection from physical pleasure
58. I have difficulty breathing deeply or feel short of breath during emotional moments.
Example: Shallow breathing when anxious, holding breath during conflict
59. I experience fatigue that doesn’t match my physical activity level.
Example: Exhaustion from emotional situations, feeling drained after social interactions
60. I notice my body “shutting down” or going numb during overwhelming situations.
Example: Feeling disconnected during conflict, emotional numbness, dissociation
PART H: SPIRITUAL AND RELIGIOUS PATTERNS (10 Questions)
Faith, Church, and Spiritual Wounds
61. I fear God’s punishment or rejection and struggle to believe in His unconditional love.
Example: Feeling like you must earn God’s favor, anxiety about not being “good enough” spiritually
62. I have been hurt by church leaders or trusted Christians who abused their position.
Example: Inappropriate behavior from pastors, financial manipulation, spiritual abuse, betrayal of trust
63. I struggle with shame about my humanity and feel like faith means suppressing all negative emotions.
Example: Feeling guilty for being angry, hiding struggles from church community, “fake” spiritual mask
64. I have experienced judgment, gossip, or rejection from church communities.
Example: Being ostracized for life choices, harsh criticism disguised as “correction,” church politics
65. I feel pressure to maintain a “perfect Christian image” that doesn’t match my real experience.
Example: Pretending marriage is perfect, hiding financial struggles, not admitting doubts or questions
66. I have difficulty trusting church leadership or being vulnerable in Christian community.
Example: Keeping spiritual struggles private, fear of being “counseled” harshly, not asking for help
67. I struggle with teachings that were used to control, manipulate, or shame me.
Example: Misuse of submission teachings, prosperity gospel pressure, condemnation for questioning
68. I feel like I have to choose between my authentic self and my faith community.
Example: Hiding personality traits, suppressing gifts, conforming to narrow expectations
69. I experience spiritual dryness or disconnection that may be related to past church hurt.
Example: Difficulty praying, feeling distant from God, resistance to church attendance
70. I carry guilt or shame about past mistakes that I struggle to believe God has truly forgiven.
Example: Repeatedly confessing same sins, feeling unworthy of grace, self-punishment patterns
